Labels

Do they define who you are?

How many ways would you describe yourself? When someone asks me to describe myself I usually go through a list of labels and qualities.  Mom, wife, teacher, caring, etc.  Just like my bio on social media.  A little snapshot of who I am.  But these little bios get me to thinking. Is this really who I am and is there a difference between labels and qualities.  

I took a closer look at one of my bios.  The first thing that jumped out at me was Teacher.  Well, there’s an update I should make.  I am passionate about sharing knowledge with others, but recently we decided that I would not return as a high school teacher next year in order to be a full-time stay-at-home mom and blogger. I will probably still tutor, but that is not a major part of my life anymore.  I’ll take care of that label in my bio.

Looking at the rest, I can say that I am still a wife, still a mom and still a runner…

Then it hits me. ”Runner” is something I have been identifying with since I was a teen.  There were breaks here and there for my pregnancies, but it has been a huge part of my life otherwise.  My greatest running accomplishment was running 40 miles this past September.  But, what have I done lately?  I don’t have any medals from the past few months, I haven’t broken any records and I’m not training for Boston.  Can I really identify as a runner?

Without even thinking about it, I feel a pressure to perform or live up to this label. I feel that every day I don’t run or don’t have a plan to run, I am undeserving .  I identify as a runner, but I wonder if sometimes because I have assigned myself that label, I force myself to live up to the “runner” standards.  When I don’t meet those expectations, I feel guilty and like a failure. 

It makes me think…what other labels am I applying to myself that when I don’t live up to them, I feel bad about myself. Wife?  Mom? Teacher (when I was still teaching)? Blogger?

As soon as your label yourself, you are apt to try to live up to the ideals of that label.  To be the best of the best you can be.  There’s nothing wrong with trying to be your best all the time, but it can be downright unhealthy to set most of your life up for perfection.  

I am a mom, but that is not who I am.  I take care of my boys and I do the best I can, but if I stumble I shouldn’t get all depressed because I’m not being the ideal mom.  I am a wife, and when I’m not the best wife, I can’t get all upset with myself.

You know what?  I am a runner, but I am not going to label myself that way.

I choose to ignore the labels and instead describe myself by my soulful attributes and qualities. I am Lisa, who loves her husband and her sons and wants to do the best for them. I strive to care for others and leave things better than when I found them. I find humor in life and try not to take things too seriously unless the situation demands it.  I love to run and enjoy living, eating, breathing and drinking. 

I feel better already.  That is who I am.  I like it better than saying I’m a wife, a mom, a teacher , a runner.  Now how to do that and work within the parameters of instagram and twitter???

What are your labels?  Are you comfortable with them? Share your thoughts:-)