Travel Hangover

The Stages of Returning Home from Your Adventure

Two weeks ago I went to San Diego to visit my brother, sister-in-law and nephew. 14 years before, I had moved to New England from just north of San Diego (in Carlsbad). The weather of New England often makes me nostalgic for the old days in So Cal. When my brother moved out, I was psyched to go visit. Not only because I miss my little bro and family, but also to revisit some olds spots and even run around the city and explore a bit (one of my favorite things to do). The visit was awesome, but all great things must come to an end. Then, the hangover begins. The dreaded return home from a great trip, where you just feel spent and long to be back.

Phases of a Travel Hangover

Exhaustion

Living life to the fullest I woke up on the first day at 5:30 AM Eastern and went to bed at 12 AM Pacific. I got up early to run, drank adult beverages and stayed up late. I was only going to be there for a few days. When was the next time I would visit and get a chance to run through Balboa Park or to the Sunset Cliffs? What about all the good beer and restaurants? I am all about taking advantage of the opportunities in front of you and I was willing to sacrifice my sleep. But oh jeeze did it hit me hard when I got home!

Drinking I imbibe from time to time and especially on trips in the company of family and friends (and new friends!). This trip was no different. I only touched on San Diego’s beer scene and it was a treat. Needless to say, the indulgence takes a little umph out of your step the next day, though.

Red-eye San Diego to Boston (and vice versa) is a rough flight no matter what. But, you can make it worse my taking the red-eye… in the middle seat.

Home-life As an adult, responsibilities carry-on. While it would be awesome to sleep and take it easy when you get back from a trip, there is still dinner, laundry and for some of us, child responsibilities like helping with homework, escorting to practice, etc.

All in all, we often need a break after a trip, even though that might have been the purpose of the trip! Being so spent after a trip we might be thinking too much about where we just were.

Longing

This place is awesome! Other comparative thoughts… “It is so much warmer here,” and “wow, there are dogs everywhere,” even “the playgrounds are so much cooler for kids than the ones we have.” These could be dangerous thoughts…I wasn’t even just thinking about me, I was thinking of how it was so much better for the whole family! I mean, you could walk just about everywhere, the airport was minutes aways, there are pretty awesome restaurants and breweries every block. When I lived in Carlsbad 14 years ago, the Gaslamp Quarter and Balboa Park/zoo were cool, but it wasn’t recommended you adventure off from either place. Now? It’s all good. Heck, people were smiling and saying hi everywhere– so friendly! That wasn’t happening the last time I was here. But here I am now, and it sure seems like the right place to be.

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When can we come back? Return immediately. I’ll bring the rest of the family so they can see how awesome it is. We could go to the beach, visit the seals and sea lions, go to the zoo, Sea World, Lego Land. If we time it right we can see the flower fields bloom. Forget the cost of flying four people across country, as well as room and board. It would be worth it (maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh). No way they aren’t sold on…

What if we lived here? Here’s how it would play out in my 5 second fantasy “Wow mom! This is the coolest place ever – we should move here!” We could get jobs easy, right? Gas is expensive, but we would be walking everywhere. Well, everything is expensive, but we would be eating less because we won’t need our extra layer of fat and because when one wears less you have to look better = less food. Just kidding…well kinda. It would be great!

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In my longing stage I think that San Diego (or enter your destination) is just so much better and I’m stuck here, in New England during the winter, where it’s cold, wet, boring, blah….

Grass is always greener

I don’t think that everyone feels this way, but when I go somewhere or do something new, I am pretty open minded, looking for positives. I don’t like the feeling I get when I start pulling the negatives out (or when I hear other people do it) about somewhere, something or someone. The downside to being this kind of positive is that at first, before I really start to evaluate it, this new place or idea has only positives, so naturally it outshines all the others. Eventually though, all the facts start to settle in.

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Realizing (or Convincing Yourself) that Where You Live is Better

Back to reality. It usually takes a week or so, but then the allure of my travel destination starts to fade. Back in the routine, around family and friends, I realize that while there are many cool aspects to living in So Cal, there are a lot of cool parts to living where I do. Yes, the winters can be a big pain, but the snow is just as beautiful as a cresting wave. The cold is not my favorite, but it reminds us yearly of the importance of preparation. Don’t know what I mean? When was the last time you ever met a New Englander (or any cold weather friend) that wasn’t always prepared? They know that you can’t just “suck it up” for this kind of cold and weather. You need to have the right tools and clothes. Seems to carry to all parts of life around here.

Enough about the cold, how about the summer? New England summers rock. You have beaches, lakes, green grass, flowers everywhere. Very much like San Diego, but we have lots of lakes and grass. Then there is the eerie magic of the thunderstorm. Crickets! I always missed the sounds of crickets (and peepers) when in California. The sweet smell of cut grass. The sound of locusts rubbing their legs. June bugs (lightening bugs or fireflies, depending on where you are from).

Spring is a warmer winter here. Still chilly, but doable. Wear layers and take off and apply as needed. The best season, when it’s a classic one, is fall. Fall and summer in New England can make you forget about winter and warmer winter. Fall, with the extraordinary colors of the foliage and grasses will take your breath away . I love a sunset over the ocean, but I feel the earth when we hit peak colors in the fall – it’s like it’s vibrating all around you. There’s the crisp air to mix with the faint smells of a wood-burning fire. Now, instead of sweet cut grass, the sweet spoil of leaves. Apple picking, apple cider donuts. Being here in fall is being home.

Outside of the weather there are also friends and family. While warmer temps and restaurants that allow dogs are pretty nice, we have a pretty good thing here. We could always make new friends and would maintain relationships with family no matter where we live, but it can be hard. Making new friends sucks. Personally, I think its harder and more intimidating than dating!

When convincing myself that here is better, I would also note that where we live is really good for our kids. We live on a cul-de-sac, in an incredible neighborhood, in a top notch town, with an amazing school system. Would we find exactly that if we moved? What would we be sacrificing for warmer temps? There are lots of unknowns.

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Hair of the Dog that Bit Me?

Regardless of the “hangover” I get when I travel, whether it be to San Diego or any other destination, I always come back to my more logical center which concludes I am a bit of a dreamer and it’s the hangover compelling me to take the dream to the next notch.

I would never give up travel or visiting new places even though I get my travel hangover. New places, faces and experiences lead to new ideas and appreciation for the life I am in (at the end of the hangover;-)). Plus, there are always possibilities. You never know what opportunity may come your way. If something amazing came up in San Diego or any other place, I would give it a serious look. For now, I have it pretty good thing going here. I am sure I will have another hangover again, and maybe someday the stars will align and then I’ll have some of the hair of the dog that bit me.

PS- San Diego is an awesome town! If you haven’t visited, it’s a great place. Lots of touristy things to do and a great running destination (with or without hills). Even if you are thinking of taking a cruise, it’s a great place to leave from.

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