Thank You, Deer
*** Note, there is a picture of a dead deer below.
When I was in my 20’s, I thought that was the decade I was going to be learning the most and I would prove myself. Then my 30’s came and I thought, no, this is the decade. I have my boys and I am ‘rearing’ them to be best they can be- this is the learning-est decade if there ever was one. And, I was going to prove myself, but not in a determined no holds barred way, I was just going to do the best I could at all I could (ps- that is a recipe for disaster…for another blog). Then, I arrived at my 40’s, (very recently I must add) and now I am convinced that contrary to my prior thinking, this is the one were I am going to learn the most and I don’t really care if I prove myself. I will do what needs to be done. For me this means success in what I set out to do. Either way, my intent isn’t to prove anything to anyone;-)
I came to this conclusion about my 5th decade on Earth this past week. Something happened that I have never experienced before. The more I thought about it and told others about it, it occurred to me that I live a sheltered life. Well, somewhat sheltered. More so than some and less so than others.
This past weekend, my husband and I were looking in our backyard at the idyllic setting…snow was on the ground and three deer were in the back of our lot, nibbling on something…so cute. I went back to my project and my husband says, “Look – the deer just fell.” Sure enough, there was a deer on the ground and the other two were just hanging out around him. Did he slip on the ice? Did he get shot? He wasn’t getting up.
We got our coats on and head outside to take a look. Our approach scared the other two deer, but the third just lay there. There was no blood, so we didn’t think it was shot. It was moving its neck and legs, so it did seem to have fallen on the ice. What happened?
Maybe it was in shock. You hear about deer that get hit by cars and are mostly okay, but then sit stunned as if they are dead. We tossed a snowball at its side…nothing.
As we stood there, the deer took a deep breath, shuttered, and exhaled for the last time. I thought it was so sad to see it pass. It was living, and now it’s not.
“What do we do now?” we both thought. There is a deer carcass in our backyard. If we leave it…well we can’t leave it, you can see it from the street. Can we call anyone? Should we bury it?
We called Animal Control. Because it’s the weekend…no animal control. Plus, we are told, it is on our private property so it is our responsibility.
By the time all is said and done, it is too dark to do anything. We decide that tomorrow we will drag the carcass to the woods behind our house and let the scavengers do what they do.
This is where I start to think about the sheltered life I have lived. A planet filled with animals that live and die and I don’t know what to do with one. Isn’t that crazy? Just out of curiosity, I did a little looking and saw just over 20% of Americans went hunting this last year. My guess is, they know what to do with a deer carcass. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any on speed-dial.
It also made me think, death is a very natural thing. Things live, then they die. I feel like in the life that I have lived, that has been white-washed. People don’t want to talk about death. People don’t want to talk about a lot of natural things…like miscarriages, addiction, disease, sex…and not even in a provocative way, just talk about it. Why not? Because when it happens, the people it happens to feel like they are in the dark and on their own with only the internet to go to. We should talk about it.
So, thank you, deer. Your untimely but natural death shed presented a few questions for me. You underscored that I am still learning. I learned that leaving the deer rather than burying it provides food for other animals. Win for everyone. You made me aware of how some of the ways I approach certain topics and aspects of life are not natural. No more white-washing, glossing over and beating around the bush. Not to say that one can’t present ideas in a nice way, but what kind of life are we living if we ignore or wash over what’s really going on?