Running Scared

Do you ever run scared? Right now, I totally am. I figure there are three ways to use the phrase “running scared.” The first is a more literal interpretation where you are running scared for your life or well-being. The second is where you are running, scared that you might not make your times, lose the weight, win the race, etc. The last is the “scared” feeling that if you run a certain way, push to hard, run on a road instead of a trail, you might injure yourself. I fall into the last of the three right now, but I have checked the boxes of the other two on numerous occasions.

Running Scared for Your Life

I would be surprised to hear of any woman or man, who has been running consistently for more than a year, who has not had an experience where they feared for their life or well-being. It kind of makes running seem like the most dangerous sport of all. Seems a little laughable, right? But really, it can be. While most of the experiences don’t end up as worse case scenarios, there are many of alarming moments.

By © Frank Schulenburg /, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=58588037

Many who run like to check out their local parks and trails. Some of these parks and trails are benign with cute little squirrels, chipmunks and birds (picture the forest scene from Sleeping Beauty). But some parks and trails have larger and more intimidating types of creatures. Snakes, coyotes, fisher cats, mountain lions, even bears. Let’s not forget animals like skunks, raccoons and birds of prey. Why they may not be able to kill us, they certainly could cause some harm, right? BTW- did you see the “Staircase”? The owl theory??? Yikes!

Since I have started running, I have come across a few snakes and a hissing goose that was pretty territorial, but it was a bear that scared the crap out of me. I was running in my neighborhood (not even on a trail) and there it was eating something in the front yard of a house just right off the road. Lucky for me, a gentleman in a nice F150 drove by and slowed down to offer me cover until I got past the bear. Whew!

Was I scared? Yes! Was the bear going to hurt me? Not likely, as long as I minded my own business. It was just a black bear getting some food. Would I be scared if I saw a snake, skunk or anything bigger than a basketball? Yep. Are any of them going to hurt me? Not very likely. If you should encounter an animal and you’re not sure what to do, check out this Runner’s World article. Scary moments nonetheless.

Besides the creatures listed above, there is another animal that might cause us to run scared… another human. In the last few months two young women, Mollie Tibbetts and Wendy Martinez, were attacked while running and were killed. Chandra Levy and Kari Swensen’s cases also come to mind. Why do people do such terrible things? I wish I the answer to that. While these events are rare, they should serve as reminders to be alert.

Many years ago, when I was in high school, I had an experience that I will never forget. I got up well before the sun and went for a run on a familiar three-mile course over the roads around my neighborhood. There were very few cars out, so even when one was quite far away, you could hear it and see the headlights. I was running down a major road (double yellow line) and saw a 1980’s A-Team-like van approaching. But, after it passed I could hear it slowing and turning around. Only now, the headlights were off. My adrenaline kicked in and I sprinted as fast as I could into the woods off the road. I hid behind a bush about 50 yards in and peaked back. The van had slowed to a crawl and had the side door open. After passing the patch of woods I was in, the door slammed shut and the van sped off. I continued to run, as fast as I could, straight home.

Maybe the van was dropping off newspapers, or maybe there was malicious intent. I don’t know. I am glad I ran. It might sound weird, but I am glad that I had that experience. I think that it ingrained in me a certain vigilance. Before my runs I think about exactly where I am running. Will there be other people around, do I know where I can run for safety, should I bring mace, how will I protect myself if someone does approach me, is it safe to listen to music, etc.?

Something that gets to me when I see other runners, especially women runners running solo, is when they don’t acknowledge the people around them. Think about it…if you were in the attacker’s shoes, would you go for the runner that didn’t notice that you were there, or even avoided eye contact, giving the impression of low self-esteem, or the one that made eye contact and gave a nod, giving the impression of confidence and awareness? Easy decision. I am not implying that anyone who does get attacked didn’t do these things, I just think that they are general good measures for safety. Here are two links from Women’s Running and Fitness Magazine that share several tips for staying safe in case you think you might need a refresher or want to improve your safety game.

Double yellow line + no shoulder = you need to be alert

One other thing that I know every runner can relate to is the fear of getting hit by a car. It could be that you are crossing a road and a car comes to too fast to a stop, almost (or actually) hitting you. It could be that you planned out a route and you ended up on a road with no sidewalk and a small shoulder. It could even be that you are on a sidewalk but you can hear a car coming from behind, you can hear it approaching you, getting closer and closer and when you turn to look, the driver was on their phone and at the last-minute corrected the wheel. In all the above cases, the adrenaline kicks in and we jump to the side (or up) or sprint out of the way, avoiding catastrophe.

On Road ID’s FAQ they report that 122,000 runners, cyclists and pedestrians get hit by cars every year. Personally, I think that number should be way higher. Even in high school, I remember my teammate, Jenny, getting bumped by a car that was looking left at a stop sign and started to roll forward before checking his right where she was crossing in front of him. It wasn’t reported. I know of lots of cyclist that may not be “hit” by cars, but make crazy maneuvers to avoid a crash, usually ones which result in their bike or persons being hurt, and lots of these aren’t reported.

Just last week I was running on a road that larger trucks sometimes use. I like to run on sidewalks, but where I live, sidewalks are hard to come by:-( . In this instance, the shoulder was substantial, so I felt safe enough running on it. However, as I started up this hill I noted a couple of tree branches on the shoulder with just an inch or two extending out past the white line. I also saw a large truck. I will be blunt. Some of these truck drivers are assholes. I should also say, some are awesome – if there is no oncoming traffic they move partially into the other lane to give a buffer and also so the turbulence of the passing air isn’t too bad. So, the truck I saw coming down the hill was the former. You could see he (or she) was aiming for the branches! Forget that there was no oncoming traffic and he/she could have moved over the double yellow line, or even that the lane was wide enough he could have avoided the branches. No, he was aiming for the branches. Me, thinking of the lovely wood shrapnel that would be coming my way, started to sprint. I got past the branches in time, but they did manage to knock my hat off.

I didn’t die and I didn’t get hurt, but it wasn’t exactly what I would call pleasant. I don’t think my experiences or any of the others mentioned above are unusual for runners (with the exception of Mollie, Wendy, Kari and Chandra’s rare incidents). Running can be scary, but with awareness and being equipped with the knowledge of what to do in a bad situation, we will be safe and sound.

Running Scared That You Will Fail

The hours are counting down to your race, your long run, your weigh-in, your hardest _______ ever , your fastest _______ ever and all the negatives creep into your subconscious with hopes of derailing your plans. Stupid negative thoughts. We try to keep them out, but just as water finds the lowest point and path of least resistance, negative thoughts find us when we are most vulnerable, when we are about to take on something more difficult than we have ever done before.

We run for our teams, we run for ourselves, we run to inspire others. We run to stay healthy, so we can be there for our families. We run because we take pride in our bodies.

What happens if we don’t get that personal record or personal best? What if we can’t get that long run in before the race? What if despite our best efforts, we gained 4 lbs? These are the thoughts going through our heads when we run. Sometimes we address these thoughts by overcompensating. We run more, we eat less, we fit in an extra training session. Then the injury sets in:-/. Sometimes we succumb to the thoughts and give up. Why put the effort in if it is too hard to do anyway? That’s what we do about those thoughts…sometimes.

There are other times when we do what we should with those thoughts that make us scared. We say FU “neggies”! I may not have done this workout before, but I am going to hit it as best I can and I’ll be better for it. We say, “I don’t give a sh*t scale!” because we know that we look and feel better, and that we’ll take a closer look at our strategy (it’s not that it scale is just being mean, although there is a temptation to kick it across the bathroom). We say f@ck the neggies, because we’ve done the work! No missed or extra workouts are going to change the outcome enough that we should allow ourselves to feel scared or crappy.

Running Scared of Being Injured

You have trained for months, planned for years. The event you have been waiting for is right around the corner. You feel really good on your run. Everything is coming so easy. Your pace feels like a breeze, your stride feels great, your breathing is good. So, why not push it a little? Just a little faster. You get home, everything still feels great. The next morning…not so much. You feel the pain in your lower calf (or pick any body part). What is it? Is it the beginning of an injury?

This is a bad situation….should you ice? Rest? Heat? Compress? Get another pair of shoes? Should I run the same amount or not at all? Should I wear shoes all the time or keep my feet up and without shoes? I can’t be injured!!!

Animals nearby?

This is where I am now. I have been planning for a 40 mile run. A few months ago, I injured my achilles (likely from to sharp an increase in mileage). Ever since then, I have been much more moderate with my mileage and paces. I have had a couple runs where this that or the other thing has started to bug me. I would adjust and rest a bit more or cross train and everything worked out fine. But now, now is different. I am supposed to run the 40 this Saturday! My pain started last Thursday and I can’t stop over thinking it.

I think that any event that requires a great deal of time, sweat and pain (especially as you near the event), is going to spur a mama bear level of overprotection. For instance, right now I am considering whether I should hold off cleaning out the garage space until after the run just in case I should pull something moving boxes around. Or maybe I shouldn’t do any weeding this week because, you know, some of those weeds might make me pull a back muscle, or I might get a tick or poison ivy. I am laughing at myself as I write this because I think it is sooo prima donna! But, …I’m still not going to do it, just in case😉 . Ridiculous!!!

But it’s not just the chores, it’s the running, too. Now I second guess every choice I make because I don’t want it to impact the 40. Run fast, slow, trails, paths, old shoes, new shoes….??? As I am running I cringe at every little niggle. Is it something else? Another possible injury? Is my stride changing because of my calf? Aggghhhh!

If someone else asked me what they should do, I would tell them to change as little as possible and rest when they can. I would also say listen to your body. If it’s just muscle soreness, run light, stretch and rest. Any other type of sore, rest. I would say that the training has been done at this point, so if you needed to or chose to rest, it isn’t going to make or break the run.

I think I should listen to myself. I am still planning on the 40. I am taking it easy. Worst case, it is something and I do the 40 later. My life will go on. Not to mention… the journey to this point in training as been pretty good. I can’t forget what I accomplished in getting here. It is what it is and I can’t “will” it to be anything else.

I think running scared is good. It is a feeling that is very straight forward and basic, but it elicits very complex reactions. We adapt and overcome when we experience these situations. We become better.

Running is such a beautiful and complex thing. It allows for us to enhance our lives by improving our health and by being a means to explore the physical world around us. It also challenges us by forcing us to evaluate where we are. Physically, evaluating the safety of where we are and mentally, we are stronger and more prepared than we sometimes think. A perfect sport for total discovery. So what am I so scared of? 🙂